truvy
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Still searching
Well, 2 months have gone by and I've struggled with when and whether to blog.
Reader's Digest version of what I've bee up to:
I had 2 amazing trips - one to Italy with RJ for a wedding, and another to Australia to visit friends, clear my head, escape from NYC for a bit.
Italy - Tuscany is gorgeous, even if it was a Tad dry and dusty. We had a great time at our friends' wedding, and then had a good few days in Rome as well. Driving there was fun - our little VW Polo was cute, compact, and had enough power to pass the really crappy cars, but not much more than that. Villas, walled cities, museums (I finally went to the Uffizi Gallery, which I've longed to for years), good company, and time away with my man - it was great.
Australia - 3 weeks of seeing my friends, hanging out, going to Ayer's Rock, and missing RJ like mad. Since we met, this was the longest we'd been apart, and it really hit me harder than I thought it would. Absence does, at times, make the heart grow fonder, or at least make you aware of how fond you were in the 1st place. At Ayer's Rock, I struggled with whether to do the climb or not (the Aboriginal people ask that you do not climb the rock), but after I'd walked around it once and saw the climbers, I got really excited and did it. The steepness of the climb in some places is mad, and my vertigo and fear of heights (which is selective to being exposed, not being able to control the situation, etc.) kicked in a little, but everyone said the view was great, and I do love a feeling of accomplishment, so I did, and it was. I also took a helicopter tour of the Rock (Uluru) and the Olgas, another rock formation nearby. I do love a helicopter ride I tell ya.
I was hoping that my time away would clear my head, provide me focus, make it clear what I want to do with my career and my life. It did not. I came back knowing that I love my partner very much and dislike being away from him for too long, no matter how fun the friends & surroundings. I did not come back with a revelation of what should be my next step, what type of job I should look for.
So, that's where I am. I'm looking for a job, and don't know what it is that would make me happy, that would fulfill me. So, right now, I'm just looking for the next job, and hopefully it will be something I enjoy. I'm thinking that a "temp" job would be good, but when you're an attorney they call it contract work, not "temping", because it sounds so much nicer.
Anyway, I'm open to suggestions, open to favors that anyone wants to do for me by making introductions or passing along information. I'm beginning to feel a bit rudderless - like I might spin out of control at any moment if I don't get a handle on the situation. Maybe I should go on an anti-depressant. We'll see...
On the personal front, family intensive time. My mama just visited as she does twice a year for work, and we had a nice time but fought a little, which often happens. Robert is currently visiting his family, because unfortunately his father is quite ill. I think we'll be going to Portland for the holidays, but one step at a time, one day at a time.
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