truvy
Thursday, August 22, 2002
In-laws are coming - take cover!
RJ's parents get in town today. They haven't been to NY for like 15 years, and now they're coming for his graduation.
I am nervous.
I am very nervous.
They're older parents & don't deal well w/ the gay thing - they'd just rather not think about it. They were very polite to me and I was much relieved when I met them in Portland last year. The circumstances were awkward, but they went out of their way to be nice, and I appreciated it very much. Then Christmas rolls around, and do I even get a "Merry Christmas to Rob" scribbled at the bottom of a card to RJ? No - no mention, no asking, nada. It really hurt my feelings. I love their son & want everything in his life to be part of my life - I want them to like me. I don't really expect them to all of a sudden hug me and exclaim how nice it is to see me (not yet at least - I'll give that a while), but at least inquire about my well-being.
I suppose it's all relative (if you'll pardon the pun) - my mother is very involved in my life - whether I like it or not she'll be there and want to know what's going on, and she loves Robert and sends him presents and asks about him constantly and worries if we're doing okay because she wouldn't want us to part & she knows what a wonderful man he is and cherishes him as a part of my life. It's just so weird to have parents that don't want to know every detail.
As Jennie blogged recently, I don't tell my Mom EVERY detail (mine would be more along the lines of: "yeah mom, I really love to suck dick and get fucked at the same time! Oh, does that take more than 2 people in the same room...yeah, I guess it does!"), but besides that, I share most everything with her and count on our relationship as one of the pillars of my life. RJ's family just isn't like that (not to the same extent), and at some point I guess I'll get used to it, but it hasn't happened yet.
Anyway, wish me luck! I hope I come back to y'all & report something along the lines of Sally Field's "you like me, you really like me!", but I'll take "we had a really nice dinner and enjoyed each other's company"...small steps...patience...acceptance...love.
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