truvy
Tuesday, May 28, 2002
In Memoriam
Ah Memorial Day - what most of us think of as another 3-day weekend, this year I had the opportunity to reflect on its significance.
But first - house update - happy first, heavy later.
Robert and I went up to the house for a guest-free weekend. As much as we love spending time w/ our friends, we both thought some quiet and alone-time was in order. We got several things done that made me very happy - removed the storm windows from all the old-style windows (we're replacing them w/ new ones on the 2nd floor as we get around to working on individual room), and installing molding for the 2nd floor bathroom door and along the stairway from the 1st to 2nd floors. I also did some work that I had not planned, including some major cleaning of the hot tub and clearing a field where a garden used to be. There were these metal poles marking where the fencing used to be, so I thought I'd just take those out. Well, upon closer & closer inspection & cutting w/ the weedeater, I found that the deer-fencing had collapsed & been partially-to-mostly grown over with a variety of vegetation. Since I want the lawn man to cut that area, the fencing obviously had to go. Well, I'm surprised I didn't give myself a hernia to be honest - this crap took some major pulling & tugging and prying. A small (albeit very heavy) tree had fallen on part of it, so there will remain a portion of the fence still under the tree, but I wire-clipped the rest free & now it's in a big unattractive pile behind the barn. I think I need a big dumpster to put all the random debris & shit that's been thrown back there. OH, and another thing I found - a big cooking pot - one of those really huge chili pots (we'd've called 'em in Texas). This makes the THIRD pot I've found randomly thrown in the yard - but if it's the 3rd, I guess it's NOT random. Why in the world would the old lady have put metal pots out in the yard? Could she have been picking beans and then it started to rain & she went in, forgetting the beans & the pot? I suppose I will never know, but it's totally random. Also, we have a bird's nest - Robins have built under our deck, right by the gate & the picnic table. Sure, there's usually no one there, but come on birdies, that's a bit close, no? It was driving my poor dog crazy, but he knows the word "baby" as something to treat gently, so we kept telling him to leave the babies alone, and he would (for about an hour or 2). I never heard the baby birds chirp, and every time I checked, they were just sleeping - looking like one giant unit of bird, breathing deeply & simultaneously. I'll move the nest as soon as the chicks are out, but until then, we're trying to stay out of their way.
Anyway, back to Memorial Day.
Sunday Night, HBO had "In Memoriam", a special about the terrorist attacks in NYC on Sept. 11. RJ and I both felt it important to watch, and it was powerful, moving, devastating. The compilations of so many news agencies and personal videographers & photographers really pulled together a more complete picture than anyone had before.
We, of course, all remember that day. I remember running a bit late for work, thinking as I was going into the subway and I heard the 1st plane go overhead, "Gee, that plane is awfully low, thank God planes don't run into buildings" and thinking about the plane that had hit the Empire State Building those many years ago. When I got the office my colleague ran in and said, "Have you heard?", and the shock was overwhelming. I was scared senseless, truly not for myself, but because I couldn't get a hold of Robert. He hadn't even told me, but he was supposed to have a meeting in 1 WTC that morning. Thank God it wasn't until later in the morning. I felt a growing panic as we heard the news reports and saw the first pictures, and I still couldn't get a hold of him. Finally, he called me back. He had heard the 1st plane as well, and went outside with so many others to look down 6th Avenue, which used to look directly at the towers. He had his binoculars with him, and watched in horror as people were jumping from the buildings. He was watching as the 2nd plane hit 2 WTC and the fire ball of an explosion engulfed the tower in which I used to work. When I left my office to walk home, I felt like a salmon swimming upstream. I was walking downtown - against the flow of so many thousands of others, towards home, towards Robert and my dog, and the only comfort I could think to seek. People were so freaked out, I saw 2 men almost get into a knife fight, I heard while walking past a car that had its doors open & radio on for others to listen that the 1st tower collapsed. I stayed on Madison until I was in the high 20's, afraid to go to 5th & be too near the Empire State Building, just in case. By the time I turned onto 6th, I almost fell when I saw the sight - the 2nd tower had already collapsed, and where the view had been overwhelmed & dominated by those 2 huge towers was a huge column of smoke & soot & fire & debris & chaos. When I reached home, all I wanted to do was hug and hold Robert & Rowan, but we mobilized, not knowing what to expect and what was coming next. We engaged in some panic grocery shopping - lots of things that would keep & not require refrigeration, lots of water & boxed milk, high protein energy bars, etc., etc., etc.
Well, HBO's special really brought all of that back for me, but in a way that made me reflect more on our world, on our roles in the world system, on crushing hatred & ignorance. I don't know quite what to say about all that yet, but I'm glad I watched. I'm glad I live in New York, and I'm proud of our City for withstanding what's been thrown at it, although I didn't doubt that it would. As the world order and the global power struggle shifts to paradigms which include terrorism as a daily threat, what it means to Die for your Country, and those whom we honor on Memorial Day grow to include the thousands of victims of terrorism. In Memoriam, we remember, and we miss you.
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